First Gear! It's Alright...Reverse, Not So Much

Every couple has a dominant-driver-half, right? When Tiffany and I go somewhere, I almost always head straight to the passenger seat. That's not because I don't like to drive. It's because I hate to park. Specifically, I hate to park in the city.

If we're headed out of San Francisco, I eagerly offer my services.

"Want me to drive?" I ask, magnanimously.

"No, I'm fine," Tiffany usually says.

"But you always drive. Let me take that burden from you once in a while."

She rolls her eyes.

"Oh, I see. You don't want to drive home, do you?"

"Precisely."

In truth, I'm not a bad parker. I'm only bad when Tiffany is in the car. The pressure of having such a superb parker (she learned to drive in Boston, for god's sake... I learned in Shawnee, Kansas) in the passenger seat is unnerving. Even when that superb parker is the love of my life.

The other day I drove us back into the city from our Easter Sunday hike. As we made our normal loop-de-loos through our neighborhood, we spotted a right angle spot on a frighteningly steep hill.

I saw the spot just after passing it, so I checked behind me and threw the car into reverse. Then Tiffany saw an even better spot just ahead on a slighly less steep part of the hill. I began to go forward, haltingly, without giving any gas at all.

"What's happening?" Tiffany asked. "Are you in neutral?"

"Yes," I said, without having any idea what gear I was in. In the quick transition from one spot to the other, I thought I had put the car back in drive. We continued to stutter our way forward.

"Oh my God, you're still in reverse!" Tiffany yelled. "Stop the car!"

I didn't have to. It stalled out on its own.

"I broke the car!" I screamed. "I broke the car!"

But I hadn't, actually. As soon as I put it in park, it started right up. And after a lap around the block to make sure I really hadn't broken the car, I turned expertly into my original spot.