My Bestie

I only have a handful of friends in New York.

Ok, fine... I only have a handful of friends. Period.

Anyway, one of my New York friends, Jen, sticks out like a sore thumb from my handful.

The only thing Jen and I have in common is a common friend, Teresa. And it is only because of our love and respect for Teresa that Jen and I initially stayed in the same room together long enough to develop a mutual affection.

Jen is fashionable. I'm... not. She's loud. I'm less loud bordering on quiet. She likes to talk politics. I do not. Oh yeah, and speaking of politics. We don't have those in common either.

I try to avoid political conversations with Jen, but the other night, she wouldn't let me, so we took Teresa's living room hostage and went at it despite the fact that everyone else in the living room was either a sleeping newborn or trying to watch Modern Family.

"I'm fiscally conservative!" I hissed at one point, trying to rebut her argument that I was disagreeing with everything she agreed with just to be stubborn. I instantly thought of all the ways I am not fiscally conservative and hoped she wouldn't.
"Freezing your leftover pizza does not make you fiscally conservative," Jen spat. "It makes you weird."
"I'm personally fiscally conservative!"

She scoffed.

"Whatever!" I shouted. "Binders of women?"

I mean, seriously. What kind of person doesn't believe in leftovers?





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