Peace of Mind: Worth the Wrinkles

Sometimes I wish I were an old lady.

(Sometimes I feel like an old lady, like when Tiffany and I go to bed at 9 p.m. or when every bone in my body creaks in certain weather, but that's a different matter altogether.)

Sometimes I wish I were an old lady so that I could already know all the things I have to figure out before I can be an old lady. Like where to move and when to buy a house and when to move so we can buy a house (we couldn't buy a closet in this city) and how to make the most money possible and still look forward to my job every day.

If I were an old lady, I'd already have done all those things. I wouldn't have to decide because I would have already decided. And--bonus!--Tiffany and I will probably stay up later when we're old ladies because we'll be rich and won't have to work because someone will have discovered my blog and decided that rather than giving my words away for free, I should be paid to tell you these same stories!

Most women don't want to be old ladies because of all the wrinkles and stuff. But, if my mom is any indicator, I should be in pretty good shape (no, I am not saying my mom is old--by definition, however, she is older than me). Anyway, I like the wrinkles on the old ladies I know. I don't have a problem with people's perception of my age. But if I did, it wouldn't matter. People always perceive me to be younger--flight attendants have tried to kick me out of the emergency exit rows on planes. In other words, I have a ways to go before I'm old and even longer before people think I'm old.

In the meantime, I guess I'll just do this whole life thing in chronological order.

Today the Giants had their World Series parade one block from my work. In the elevator on the way up to my office, someone asked me if I was going.

"I'd like to," I said. "I'll probably dash out to see it.* But parades are tough for me because I'm so short. I never see anything but the people screaming at what I can't see."

"Well," the woman said as she got off on her floor, "maybe they'll think you're a kid and push you up to the front."**

*I did.
**They didn't.