Snap, Crackle...CHOCO!

I'm sorry for my long absence from the blog, but, with only ten days left before our big move to New York, Tiffany and I thought it would be a perfect time to spend five days out of the country on vacation. We left all our stuff in the taped-off, U-Haul trailer-sized space we had marked off on our living room floor, and, picture-holes still unspackled, went on an all-inclusive vacation to Puerto Vallarta. All we needed was a beach and some warm sun, and we got that, so the vacation was a success. But we learned we're not really all-inclusive people.

There isn't really much benefit for us. First of all, I don't drink. Second of all, Tiffany drinks so little as to hardly merit the "drinker" description. Most importantly, the food that's included in all-inclusive packages isn't really our style anymore. I know, I know, I've chronicled here how I can't pass up a free muffin, but maybe I've outgrown that phase of my life. I mean, Tiffany and I haven't bought boxed food in nearly two years. We're food snobs.

It's true that on our vacation we didn't go to any of the restaurants on our resort that had a dress code requiring actual shoes or dresses. Maybe at those restaurants they were serving only locally sourced whole food products. But still, at one of our first dinners, we realized what we were in for.

"Oh my gosh," Tiffany said, "this rice tastes like..."

I stole a bite from her plate, chewing slowly. But she beat me to the memory.

"Rice-A-Roni!" she whispered. "We're eating Rice-A-Roni!"

At the breakfast buffet the next morning, underneath a spotlight, the restaurant staff had placed a platter full of Hostess Ho Hos and Cupcakes, split neatly in half (the better to display the cream-filling, I'm sure).

But rather than resort to fasting for a week, Tiffany and I embraced our all-inclusive interlude. We delighted in the bottomless mini-bar in our hotel room, requesting extra bottled waters, Coronitas and Cokes. And we ordered room service every night.

On the menu our final evening?

Choco Krispis. Poured straight from the tiny box into a white china bowl.